I get questions like this all the time, “What do you do when your spouse is still in love with the other person?” Many people want a black and white answer that will solve it all but when your healing from infidelity it’s never that simple. There will never be a cookie cutter answer to these kinds of questions. Ever person is different as is every relationship. No two are alike so there is no cookie cutter solution. There are many emotions that are very similar with those folks trying to survive infidelity and there are fundamental principles that can be applied to most every situation. A majority of people, when surviving infidelity, are left confused, devastated and lost, which I believe they have every right to feel!

What you need is not a cookie cutter solution but some good solid wisdom. Here are some principles that you can apply to your situation that will really help you out.

This first thing you have to realize is that there is and never will be a hopeless situation. It may seem that way right now, but don’t you believe it. There will always be hope! The secret lies in grasping the wisdom and finding the hope that is out there for you, you just have to grab a hold of it. Never tell yourself that your life has become hopeless. You’ll find that if you have lost your hope then you are giving up your power to find the answer to your situation.

The second think is you must remember that infidelity is NOT a love story! Your spouse does not really love the other person; they just believe that they do. Remember, they are caught up in a fantasy and none of it is real. Remember, they chose you to marry, not the other person. When people are caught up in affairs, they aren’t in “real life” with the other person. They aren’t having to deal with bills, schedules, kids, money, extended family, etc.