I believe that the answer is YES it really can BUT it takes a lot of hard work from both spouse’s. There will be healing that needs to be done together along with the healing of each individual. There are steps that can be taken to heal the hurt and pain an affair causes. It can also bring back the intimate connection into your marriage.

First things first, the affair must be truly over with no contact put into place. If the affair is still going on or there is still any kind of contact even if it’s not sexual there will be NO healing. The Wayward Spouse must establish no contact with the Affair Partner. The best way to do this is to have the Wayward Spouse send a certified no contact letter in their own handwriting to the affair partner.

Once the affair has come to light there must be proper closure to the affair. An agreement must be made between that all contact must end between the Wayward Spouse and the Affair Partner and it must be permanent. There are no if’s, and’s or but’s on this one. This MUST be done for there to be any healing in the marriage. The Wayward Spouse must commit to the No Contact Agreement. Every time the Agreement has been broken the Wayward Spouse must tell the Betrayed Spouse about it as soon as possible. Even if it wasn’t them that broke it, any contact whatsoever should be told immediately. This will build some trust back up in your marriage if this is done every time.

Writing a “No Contact Letter” to the Affair Partner is the best way to end the affair. This way everything that needs to be said can be with no interruptions and without adding or saying anything you don’t want said. Doing it over the phone or by email allows things to open back up for the OP to respond…and that’s what you are clearly trying to avoid.