Is it really spying or are you just confirming that your spouse is staying faithful to the marriage? The benefit is that when your spouse is being truthful in all areas, these tools serve to rebuild the trust and strengthen the marriage.

I believe that it only turns into spying when you are planning on using the information to use against your spouse. If your spouse refuses to change their cheating ways and they are mean and abusive rather than becoming open, honest and accountable after repeatedly being caught lying, then you need to make a decision to either leave or stay and accept that that is the way it is. This can be an extremely painful decision but one that really needs to be made. You cannot let someone treat you this way, plain and simple it is abuse.

I’m sure during the affair you’ve had gut feelings or intuitions that something just wasn’t right. I know I did but I just thought I was being irrational and I know I was just in denial about everything. I just think that I was just not ready yet to know the horrible truth that, yes, my husband is betraying me in the most horrible way imaginable. So know that if your gut is telling you that something is “off”, then most likely something is. Trust yourself.

In the beginning I felt so stupid for not even having a clue that my husband was cheating. An Internet site, USMarriageLaws.com, touts even more alarming cheating stats. According to the site, 85% of women who feel they have a cheating spouse are correct and 70% of women don’t know about their husband’s affairs. Please don’t feel like I did, some spouse’s are just really good at compartmentalizing and just don’t show any signs of having an affair. This doesn’t make you a fool, or stupid.