Devastated is the word most used to describe the feelings you have after finding out about the affair.  The struggle isn’t really being able to function, but the challenge is to simply “survive”.  Your physical and emotional self needs to adjust to the new reality of your life.  Even if you have suspected that your spouse was having an affair, there’s still a shock to your system when you find out “for sure”.

The first thing you must do is to take care of yourself.  This means making sure you get enough to eat, you get some much needed rest and drink plenty of water.  You know life doesn’t stop for you when you face this kind of crisis.  You still have job responsibilities and child-care responsibilities that make you feel like you MUST “function”.  But you really need to take this time to reach out for help and support from others.  Have them help you with what needs to be done.  This is not the time to be alone in your grief, you have to reach out whether you want to or not, now is the time!

You also have to except the fact that there is no “quick fix” in getting beyond the impact of this experience.  It literally takes years of actively working to understand and deal with what has happened.  So, no beating yourself up for not being further along than you are.