No Contact After an Affair
No Contact After An Affair
I have been getting a lot of emails about having a wayward spouse still be in contact with the other person. This can be devastating to a betrayed spouse. Can you save a marriage that still has ongoing contact with the other person? This situation is usually where they work together so unless they quit their jobs, contact with the other person is unavoidable.
There really isn’t any easy answer to this question. Most of the time, the betrayed spouse has to do some deep thinking and soul searching for their right answer. You have to really evaluate your situation and make a decision that is best for you. No one but you can really tell you what to do.
We all know the three things needed to heal a marriage after infidelity.
1. No contact with the other person
2. Getting honest answers to your questions
3. Talking through the entire thing
It is really up to the betrayed spouse in how flexible they are willing to be. These three things may not happen all at once and it’s up to the betrayed spouse in how long they are willing to wait for each to happen.
You must also understand that for the betrayed spouse to get what they want they may just have to do things they really don’t want to do. This could be any number of things even separating until you have your desired outcome.
Since the betrayed spouse is the one that has to deal with any consequences, then it is entirely up to them in what decisions they make in their desire for their wayward spouse to have no contact with the other person.
When there has been infidelity in the marriage, then for that marriage to heal it needs to be covered. Just like we cover serious wounds so they can heal, so must we cover our marriages. Ongoing contact with the other person is like reopening the wound for both spouses’. For the betrayed spouse will have a hard time trusting the wayward spouse and the wayward spouse is often tempted to reach out to the to the other person for comfort because there is so much pain in the marriage.
Ongoing contact with the other person can cause confusion in the wayward spouse about their love for their spouse and can cause the healing of the marriage to slow down or even go backwards.
If you are struggling with your spouse having ongoing contact with the other person you should seek out help. This is not something that you should be going through alone. It’s hard to think rationally when your emotions are all over the map. If you would like someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me.
