At 3 years out I was finally getting better. I didn’t have as much anger, I wasn’t nearly as depressed, my wall was about half down, we are starting to get along better, I have way more good days then bad ones, I’m still not “in love” with him but I don’t hate him either.

Today marks my 4th year. I found out on July 21, 2004. Today is MUCH better. I am not angry, we can talk about the affair without pain and anger. I can talk about it without getting upset or getting depressed. I am still working on letting down my wall and letting him back fully into my heart. I am still not “in love” with him like I want to be. You know the romantic heart swelling kind. I’m hoping that at year 5 I can say that I am truly in love with my husband that way. I got for DAYS without even thinking about the affair. When we do have disagreements it’s never about the affair and we hardly ever talk about it anymore.

I truly believe that it takes well over 3 years to FULLY recover from an affair. Now, everyone is different and has a different healing timeline. We did have counseling on and off during this time. We did the first whole year but not so much after that. Maybe had we done some things differently my timeline would be different. Not feeling “in love” with my husband does bother me, but I think I’m still blocking those feelings because I may believe that if I feel those feelings again then I’m saying that his affair was okay with me. I have to get past this belief and then I believe I will have those feelings for him again. I do plan on working on that this year because I do want those heart swelling feelings of love again.