I was a stay at home homeschooling mom of two boys; aged 7 and 8, and had been married for 12 years to a great guy. At the time I thought I had it all, great kids, a place of our own, our own business, and money in the bank. I was happy and I thought my husband was too. I mean, sure, we had our problems just like everyone else but I truly thought we were okay.

Things started to crack when I started hearing rumors that my husband was seeing another woman. I have always believed that my husband would never have an affair. I would have bet any amount of money that he would never be caught up in an affair. I just could never fathom him stepping out on me.

When people would tell me that he was seeing someone else I would ask him about it and he would always deny it. He was so good at lying that I believed him, or maybe I just so badly didn’t want it to be true that I believed him. Somehow, I would gloss it all over like everything was just fine, put my rose colored glasses back on and pretend things were fine.

Then one day in July, my mom came to me saying the same things others had been saying. Now, she doesn’t even live here, she lives 500 miles away, but she came up to visit for a week. Finally, something in me snapped and I had had enough. I tracked my husband down and told him we had to talk and to meet me down by the lake.

This time I didn’t ask, “Are you having an affair?” because I never got the truth with that. This time I asked, “Do you want a divorce?” He said, “No, why?” I then said, “Because you’re seeing someone else.” He didn’t say a word and I knew then it was true. I then asked, “How long?” He replied, “A year.” That afternoon he told me everything and answered any question I had.

Reality as I knew it disappeared. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was beyond hurt. I really didn’t believe I could go on. The pain was excruciating. I felt like all my insides liquefied and drained right out of me. I literally couldn’t feel my body. I sat there listening to him with my mind and body totally numb. This is God’s way of getting us through moments like this, it’s called shock. One thought I did have during this time is, “Don’t make any rash decisions.” I am glad I didn’t either because at this moment all I could see is pain, devastation, darkness and complete hopelessness.

My marriage and dreams crumbled at my feet. My heart shattered into a million pieces as the world fell out from under me. I had no idea how I would ever put my life back together again. At that moment, I felt I would never feel happiness again. That was July 21st, 2004.

I spent the next two years looking for a way to make the pain go away. I read every book I could get my hands on. I went to counselors and marriage coaches. Nothing seemed to work for me. I was still full of pain, anger and bitterness after two years of trying.

It was then that I decided to start attending church. As my spiritual soul was being fed, I looked for a devotional specifically for the betrayed spouse. Much to my amazement, I came up empty. There are devotionals for nearly any topic you can think of, but there were none for healing after infidelity. This was very surprising to me as infidelity touches over 60% of all marriages.

For two years, I would hear inside my heart, “Why don’t you write a devotional for those hurting over affairs?” I would then in turn reply, “I can’t do that, I’m not a writer. Who would want to read anything I have to say?” This continued for almost a year until I finally threw up my hands and said, “Okay, Okay, I’ll write one!” And now, I am very glad I did.

Giving my pain, fears, heartache and emotions over to God is what started my true healing journey. The steps were never easy and the results were never instant but the healing did come. You just need to learn to grab a hold of God’s promises, one at a time, and take baby steps forward toward healing. This will not be a magical journey and your situation isn’t just going to disappear overnight. But you will see a shift in your attitude and that is the beginning of making a huge difference.

If you are in the same pain that I was once in, I empathize with you with my entire heart. Please know that you are not alone. I have a very deep desire to help those who are suffering in pain and agony because of their spouse’s affair. I want to reach out and just hug them. I want to tell them that it can, and will, get better and to just hold on and take it one small step at a time.

I want you to know that my husband and I didn’t have smooth sailing into healing and recovery. We had to work hard and process all our thoughts and emotions. It was not easy and at times was extremely raw and messy. We were both surprised at how long this recovery road really was. But if you ask either of us if it was worth all the pain, heartache and hard work we would both give a resounding yes!