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I have decided to start a new Infidelity Forum and I invite you all to come join in. I am hoping we can all give each other some good advice and just help each other because going through a spouse’s affair is the most devastating thing anyone can go through.
Just thought I would share this song with those out there healing from affairs.
Are you plagued by this question? If so, this time of year is a great time to find out. Don’t be like me and have all the signs staring you in the face and purposely turn a blind eye to them. I just think I really didn’t want it to be true so I took every excuse he gave me as truth and left it alone. Burying your head in the sand will NOT make the affair end or not be true.
Many times Affair Partners want to give each other gifts and this really can be their undoing if you just open your eyes. My husband came home around this time of year with a brand new key chain and a really nice one too. It was engraved and everything front and back! I believe it said “Boss” on the front and To: Chuckles From: Chrissy on the back.
I was shaking when I found it and my stomach hurt really bad and well it should have. BUT, I believed my husband when he told me that the whole crew was supposed to chip in and buy the gift for him but in the end no one paid so she ended up getting it herself. I told him that she realize how inappropriate that gift was? I told him to get rid of it and that I never wanted to see it again.
I later found out that she was really mad that he refused to use it and he kept it hidden in the glove box of his truck. What I found out later too, was that there was an engraved business card holder and pen that went with it. I made my husband burn them all when I finally found out the truth.
When I finally found out about the affair, he told me he got her a pair of earrings but I never asked how much or what kind. Just last week we were talking about my earrings and he asked where my diamond stud earrings. I have NEVER owned a pair but he swears he got me a set. My guess is, this is what he got HER but he just doesn’t remember. I didn’t ask because I just didn’t want to go there right now. Maybe someday I will ask him what kind they were and I bet you I’ll be right.
My husband is a contractor and it’s near impossible to keep track of money so he could easily spend money and I’d have no idea he ever did. But, if you can keep track of the money, find out where it’s all going! Check your debut card and see what the charges are.
I never even thought to check his truck to see if he had any gifts hidden there. So, check their vehicles and any other place you may think they would stash a secret present. The gift may be for you so take a photo of it and leave it alone and if you don’t receive the gift, find out who did!
If you’re asking yourself, “Is my husband having an affair?”, gifts could provide the missing pieces of the puzzle. Especially if you’ve already found other telltale signs.
Someone found my blog by typing this into Google. The wayward spouse just doesn’t understand the gravity of what their actions have done to the betrayed spouse. 2 Years is nothing and of course his wife is still going to be angry over his affair. I still was in a lot of pain at 2 years.
Healing from affairs isn’t a fast process, it takes YEARS to become healed. But, at lot of our healing timeline has to do with the wayward spouse and how much they are willing to participate in our healing. Do you freely talk about the affair with your betrayed spouse or do you tell your betrayed spouse to “Get over it already”?
As they betrayed spouse, do you explode in anger all over the wayward spouse every time you hear something that you don’t like? If you do this, why would your wayward spouse want to discuss the affair with you knowing they are going to have their heads ripped off by your anger?
It was 4 1/2 years before I could say that I was healed from my husbands affair. I still have moments where anger and pain comes to the surface but they are very few and far between. It takes a lot of work to get to where I am and if either of you aren’t willing to do the hard work it takes then it will take even longer.
If you are having a hard time getting your spouse to talk about the affair here is a few tips. How to Get Your Spouse to Talk About the Affair
